A blog, testimony and curated selection of my threads (meditations) on Twitter.

TRIGGER WARNING: This website may cause upset. Discretion advised.

  • Hospital Hell

    Hospital Hell

    When I was in hospital for 4 and a half months homeless (my section ended after 6 weeks). I was triggered an awful number of times. Sometimes it was the other patients who were struggling and were triggered. Most of the times it was the staff who triggered me. A large part of my triggers…

  • Basildon Day Trip

    Basildon Day Trip

    It was strange going into Basildon Town centre today as I saw the fountain where I used to sit when I got leave from hospital. It felt different this time because I’m in a better place now. It meant so much to me that fountain. Now I feel I have started early retirement. Society is…

  • Hospital Memory

    Hospital Memory

    The #dispatches documentary reminded me of some memories in hospital last year. I remember at one point the staff said we would have to sign before we could go and eat a meal. I refused to sign and said I would stop eating. Other patients then said the same. They backed down. At one point…

  • Short Reflection on documentary

    Short Reflection on documentary

    Tweet 1 Thank you everyone for expressing thanks for my short bit in #dispatches. I don’t feel up to replying to every one of you. I did spend more time in an interview for the documentary which didn’t make the final cut as there is simply not enough time. The problem with a lot of…

  • Doing Better

    Doing Better

    I feel more relaxed in my home now, especially as Spring is beginning. I am looking forward to the summer. When I moved in September I needed to get a lot of things in order to make this place my home. Many days it was overwhelming as I had no support. I shared this journey…

  • Tired of Sociatial Pressure

    Tired of Sociatial Pressure

    I find now being on the Paliperidone depot I have less bandwidth to do things. Doing the domestic chores and a walk is close to my limit. In 2019 I was on a low dose of quetiapine but could do more like run marathons. I feel happier now and can settle on this – if…

  • Grateful Of Home

    Grateful Of Home

    These days I feel very grateful living alone in my flat. I experience a lot of peace and quiet. Something I didn’t get when I was homeless in hospital for 4.5 months hospital and then a hotel for 6 weeks. At the moment I just feel I want to hide away from people. I don’t…

  • Gary Lineker

    Gary Lineker

    I have to say the discourse on refugees has really shook me up lately. I’ve felt like Gary Linker for some time on the rhetoric that’s being used. As a mental patient and once homeless I have experienced the harsh attitudes of being treated like vermin. It was validation to me. If the formal human…

  • Life Thoughts

    Life Thoughts

    I find these days I’m a lot more at peace with my life. I feel like I have got a lot of my answers philosophically and spiritually. I feel I have lived. These days I’m just focused on staying well and avoiding triggers. I’m hopeful there is a heaven where I can meet my relatives.…

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About me:

I’m Shaun, aged 41, I am a follower of Christ, diagnosed with Autism and Schizoaffective disorder. In this blog I discuss my reality, beliefs and interests. When you meet one person with Autism, you’ve met one person with Autism.