These days I feel very grateful living alone in my flat. I experience a lot of peace and quiet. Something I didn’t get when I was homeless in hospital for 4.5 months hospital and then a hotel for 6 weeks. At the moment I just feel I want to hide away from people.
I don’t like loud noise or crowds of people – Thats a given. A big issue is societal attitudes. There is a strong pressure to be “working” and I don’t work. I cant explain that in a nice slogan that makes sense to people. Working (to what end I don’t know) is important to people.
Whilst trying to communicate I’m not often conveying voice tone, words, body language and eye contact like a perfectly conducted symphony. So people seem to not want to know me or perhaps they’ve made their mind up about me.I’m complex but people don’t want to understand complex.
Avoiding people means I’m happier from it.The side effects of the meds get on my nerves but thats another story. I enjoy walks alone. I watch Star Trek often from my collection. The internet is my library. I get meaning from the service at Church on Sundays. I like social media.
I’m open to the idea the state may come for people like me. It’s after refugees at present. I experienced cruelty when homeless this year so the idea of more suffering isn’t far on my mind. That’s why I’m enjoying today as there may be a final solution for people like me.