A blog, testimony and curated selection of my threads (meditations) on Twitter.

TRIGGER WARNING: This website may cause upset. Discretion advised.


  • Mania and Hypomania

    Mania and Hypomania

    Mania is a condition in which you have a period of abnormally elevated, extreme changes in your mood or emotions, energy level or activity level. Hypomania is milder form of Mania and may only last a few days. A feature of my Schizoaffective Disorder diagnosis that I have experienced is Mania and Hypomania. Sometimes the Mania…

  • When In Doubt

    When In Doubt

    We live in a world full of information and disinformation. It is hard to know sometimes if what we are doing or asking for is right or wrong. Much anxiety and depression can be created from the strong beliefs of others which can lead to much suffering. In Western Society, we are often taught that…

  • Psychosis: A Heart Attack of the Mind

    Psychosis: A Heart Attack of the Mind

    Previously I wrote about Mindblindness and how it can lead to me experiencing paranoia. Some would argue that I am just experiencing mild psychosis or extreme anxiety. In any case, it is something I have to live with for a long time that has got worse over the years. Though it tends to affect me…

  • Mindblindness

    Mindblindness

    Mindblindness is the inability to attribute mental states such as thoughts, desires, knowledge, and intentions to self and others, and to make sense of and predict another person’s behaviour. I believe I am partially mind blind. Mind blind is a theory that Autistic people lack or have a developmental delay in Theory of Mind. I…

  • Heresy and Market Fundamentalism

    Heresy and Market Fundamentalism

    Heresy is a belief or opinion contrary to orthodox religious (usually Christian) doctrine. The Spanish Inquisition was about identifying a person believing in or practising religious heresy (e.g. not believing in the Catholic faith). Similar persecution occurred in the UK against Catholics that were not Protestant. Believing differently to the mainstream view of the present is always going…

  • I’m a Political Football

    I’m a Political Football

    As someone with a severe mental illness* and being Autistic I have increasingly realised how vulnerable I am. Not just due to the nature of my conditions that have social disadvantages from being not accepted and ostracised but also in relation to my lack of political power. Things like money, social status and memberships can…

  • Things Going Reasonably Well Considering

    Things Going Reasonably Well Considering

    Things in my life seem to be going reasonably at well at present compared to previous experiences in my life. I have a quiet and peaceful home after all. I am fortunate to live alone. Last year I was homeless for 4 and half months in a psychiatric hospital. Psychiatric hospitals have restrictions that make…

  • Musings on my Existence

    Musings on my Existence

    I find the demands of society stressful. Particularly in relating to people and those in authority. People are selfish and I find I can never please them. Whatever I do it’s not good enough. In many situations often find myself alone, not fitting in and sometimes even bullied. I find my current setup the most…

  • Mindfulness to Contemplative Prayer

    Mindfulness to Contemplative Prayer

    I have wrote previously how I have been reading about Buddhism and meditating again. In 2019, I first read the book The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living which contains a western perspective of a psychiatrist in discussion with the Dalai Lama. It introduced me to some teachings of Buddhism that I found intriguing…


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About me:

I’m Shaun, aged 39, I am a follower of Christ, diagnosed with Autism in 2019 and have experienced mental distress in my life. In this blog I discuss my reality, beliefs and interests. When you meet one person with Autism, you’ve met one person with Autism.

The promethazine has helped today. I think I will continue to take it more regularly until court on Monday.

Well tomorrow is the last day for my solicitor to phone me otherwise I have had no legal advice until my court hearing on Monday.

Well the CPS filing (a pdf) has been interesting to read. They articulated in my interview the insanity defence R v McNaughten [1843], that the written apology was what I made was for a sin and not admission of guilt of a crime. Feeling a judge really needs to decide that not me.

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