Tag: Lived Experience
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Wobble
I had a wobble earlier this week when I had feelings of wanting to die. I think the news was upsetting me and made me think of a dark future. I have started using an app that limits my use of reading the news (it blocks UK news sites) and stops me using social media.…
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Home Away From People
I wouldn’t say I have ever been a people person. Sometimes I have done better when I am desperate to please people. I don’t feel the need to please people anymore. I have no ambitions and I accept the faulty individual I am. It’s fair to say I have less tolerance for people these days.…
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Basildon Day Trip
It was strange going into Basildon Town centre today as I saw the fountain where I used to sit when I got leave from hospital. It felt different this time because I’m in a better place now. It meant so much to me that fountain. Now I feel I have started early retirement. Society is…
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Doing Better
I feel more relaxed in my home now, especially as Spring is beginning. I am looking forward to the summer. When I moved in September I needed to get a lot of things in order to make this place my home. Many days it was overwhelming as I had no support. I shared this journey…
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Tired of Sociatial Pressure
I find now being on the Paliperidone depot I have less bandwidth to do things. Doing the domestic chores and a walk is close to my limit. In 2019 I was on a low dose of quetiapine but could do more like run marathons. I feel happier now and can settle on this – if…
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Grateful Of Home
These days I feel very grateful living alone in my flat. I experience a lot of peace and quiet. Something I didn’t get when I was homeless in hospital for 4.5 months hospital and then a hotel for 6 weeks. At the moment I just feel I want to hide away from people. I don’t…
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Life Thoughts
I find these days I’m a lot more at peace with my life. I feel like I have got a lot of my answers philosophically and spiritually. I feel I have lived. These days I’m just focused on staying well and avoiding triggers. I’m hopeful there is a heaven where I can meet my relatives.…
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1 Year Anniversary
It was actually this time last year I was sectioned into a psychiatric hospital. The Ukraine war had really scared me and I started watching BBC News too much. I couldn’t sleep so was going into the lounge to watch more News. My drop in concentration meant I missed my medication. I believe coming off…
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Grateful But Fearful
I spent so much time last year homeless, dreaming of a future where I would have use of my own kitchen and bathroom. Having a bedroom where I could chill out with Star Trek. I sit here now happily with a cup of tea listening to white noise from the Enterprise appreciating this. This Spring/Summer…