Tag: Lived Experience
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Life Thoughts
I find these days I’m a lot more at peace with my life. I feel like I have got a lot of my answers philosophically and spiritually. I feel I have lived. These days I’m just focused on staying well and avoiding triggers. I’m hopeful there is a heaven where I can meet my relatives.…
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1 Year Anniversary
It was actually this time last year I was sectioned into a psychiatric hospital. The Ukraine war had really scared me and I started watching BBC News too much. I couldn’t sleep so was going into the lounge to watch more News. My drop in concentration meant I missed my medication. I believe coming off…
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Grateful But Fearful
I spent so much time last year homeless, dreaming of a future where I would have use of my own kitchen and bathroom. Having a bedroom where I could chill out with Star Trek. I sit here now happily with a cup of tea listening to white noise from the Enterprise appreciating this. This Spring/Summer…
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Suicidal Urges
I don’t know if other people get suicidal thoughts much.Though sometimes I get the thought to end it. Like this evening I have the thought of just picking up my rope, making a hangman noose and ending it.I won’t tonight. Having it all there just gives me peace. As I can move on. I am…
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Lithium Reduced
As permitted by the psychiatrist I lowered my Lithium dose from 1000mg to 800mg on Monday night. I think I am seeing a benefit. I feel less worn out in the morning. I seem to have got into Aldi earlier than usual this week. My motivation is low which I think is partly due to…
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Taking Medication
Alexa has reminded me to refill my nightly weekly pillbox. Seems I will be out of 1000mg Lithium on Sunday. So will start 800mg of Lithium Monday. I’m hopeing I will have more spoons to do things. I’m not necessarily convinced the medication helps as much as it hinders. My mind is too dependant to…
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Gratitude and Sadness
One thing I have to remind myself is I am free from not making money. Money to me is much like Star Trek in it’s use of basic accounting for resources. Most people aren’t free from that and are fully engrossed in the Neoliberal World Order. I really appreciate having a home and had the…
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Reflections
I have lurched from uncertainty to crisis in my life. Many identities have been assigned to me by others and by myself. Like the circles here. There was a force like gravity at my core that kept it all together. That core light was revealed to me in my most darkest moments. I never grew…
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My Search for acceptance
I’m possible. A Venn diagram of the barriers I face in meeting people that will accept me.