Author: Shaun
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Easter
My Easter was simple as usual. I was alone. In the past I would often go to my late Mothers who would make a nice three course meal with Roast dinner. This year I made some effort by making my own three course meal. I had tomato soup, a microwavable roast dinner and some chocolate…
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A Dogs Purpose
I watched the film ‘A Dogs Purpose’ today and it made me cry a few times. In this film a dog lives different lives and is reincarnated as a new puppy everytime the Dog dies. The dog has many good lives and sad lives. The dog has different roles from being a dog to a…
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Wobble
I had a wobble earlier this week when I had feelings of wanting to die. I think the news was upsetting me and made me think of a dark future. I have started using an app that limits my use of reading the news (it blocks UK news sites) and stops me using social media.…
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Home Away From People
I wouldn’t say I have ever been a people person. Sometimes I have done better when I am desperate to please people. I don’t feel the need to please people anymore. I have no ambitions and I accept the faulty individual I am. It’s fair to say I have less tolerance for people these days.…
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Despair At Injustice
Content Warning: Deeply triggering for those with mental illness. Contains content that talks about suicide. Since yesterday I felt severely hopeless. Today I did something I have done before. I took my rope, tightened it round my neck and then attached the other end to the bar above my shower screen. Unfortunately I am too…
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Hospital Hell
When I was in hospital for 4 and a half months homeless (my section ended after 6 weeks). I was triggered an awful number of times. Sometimes it was the other patients who were struggling and were triggered. Most of the times it was the staff who triggered me. A large part of my triggers…
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Basildon Day Trip
It was strange going into Basildon Town centre today as I saw the fountain where I used to sit when I got leave from hospital. It felt different this time because I’m in a better place now. It meant so much to me that fountain. Now I feel I have started early retirement. Society is…
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Hospital Memory
The #dispatches documentary reminded me of some memories in hospital last year. I remember at one point the staff said we would have to sign before we could go and eat a meal. I refused to sign and said I would stop eating. Other patients then said the same. They backed down. At one point…
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Short Reflection on documentary
Tweet 1 Thank you everyone for expressing thanks for my short bit in #dispatches. I don’t feel up to replying to every one of you. I did spend more time in an interview for the documentary which didn’t make the final cut as there is simply not enough time. The problem with a lot of…