Things have been rather more difficult in the last few months. Though since I had my 4 weekly Paliperidone depot increased from 50mg to 75mg almost 3 weeks ago I have been feeling more calmer. I seem more at ease and less scared of the future. I do though still feel the future looks bleak. Governments round the world seem to be more resembling dystopia governments of the future depicted in Science Fiction. People like me don’t have a chance.
I have been reading about Buddhism. I have started reading a book about Buddhism as well. I have been reading The Heart Of Buddha’s Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh. I have found it insightful. It seems to be giving me more of a fuller complete answer on why to do mindfulness. Not the extracted exploitive capitalist version that is used to manipulate the masses to subjugate themselves and advocated by Neorecovery in Clinical Psychology. What I like about Buddhism is the ‘wholesome mind ethics’ as opposed to toxic positivity. It’s thinking and doing things favourable to the mind or body. Though still trying to maintain realism rather than passively enduring pain.
It’s well known that Buddhist monks have killed themselves. Due to living under oppressive regimes. Some have even killed themselves by setting themselves on fire in protest in public squares. These people are often masters of mindfulness. Not failures as Neorecovery likes to paint the suicidal person as. In the end their is only so much suffering and oppression a person can take. Their is bound to be a reaction even amongst Buddhist monks. This western idea we should passively submit stoically to our suffering and oppression is part of societal control of the top 1% (who often own more than half the wealth in most countries as well as the politicians and media).
I have been practising meditation this week for the first time in years. I did a 6 minute session Monday and Tuesday. I’ve done a 10 minute session today which is Wednesday. I believe the key is practise. Maybe when things get difficult next time I can use it. I just need to keep maintaining daily practise.
However, I still believe in Christ as a Christian. I’ve got back to attending Church each Sunday lately as well. I’m certainly inspired by Buddhism and find its philosophy compatible with my Christian beliefs. Though I don’t believe I would become a Buddhist as much as the mindfulness is helpful.