No Win Scenario

If I could relive my life again I would love to be born from rich parents who loved me, who had loads of contacts and also were part of a Church family. Why? I wouldn’t be so much for the material things but in having opportunities I never had. People that have this can often take this for granted and can’t imagine what it must be like not to have it.

As someone with a diagnosis of Autism and Schizoaffective Disorder I’m at a disadvantage I cannot fix. I am considered a burden for society. And even lazy. Stopping the medication would give me much more energy. For a matter of fact I know from experience it will make me not stop or sleep at all. I will grind a way on special projects like a workaholic which would please many. Once I crash and burn I’m not liked at all. The circus of the ambulance and police taking me away is not a pleasant or pretty sight for anyone.

So I take my medication but I am not cured. I struggle to get going most days and need loads of breaks. I am labelled lazy. The medication is a tranquilliser not a cure off my ills. It slows my thought processes down taking my whole body with it. It gives me a chance to make more rational decisions as well as make any activity tiring.

Money and social status gives you choices. Many jobs available to people like me require social stamina to please. My presence displeases most people. I only have to say the wrong thing or look at them the wrong way then suddenly I am the bad guy. A part time job from home on my computer without use of a telephone (where I can take breaks) would be nice one day but that usually is for people above my class.

Though that is the thing. It’s all about work today. The God of achievement. People exist as pawns moving rich peoples money around on a ledger for no real purpose. Scarcity has been solved. There is plenty to eat and plenty of wealth to be shared fairly. Techo-Feudalism is the norm today. No one dares mention the rigged Social Contract.