Well 2025 is almost done. It’s hard to believe I have survived another year. I was very anxious about the year but I seem to have got through it ok. I haven’t been in a psychiatric hospital this year which is brilliant. I spent so many years in and out of them but since 2023 I have managed not to get sectioned. It’s not to say I haven’t had my ups and downs this year and still have difficulty managing but I have survived.
I have been attending my probation appointments each month without fail. I have built a good relationship with my probation officer. She has been very understanding. Although my probation is supposed to last 2 years since I was sentenced in August 2024 the probation officer has said it will end early 2026. It will be nice not to have to go to their offices but having an extra person to see for support has been useful. Usually I just talk about how I am coping and what I’ve been up to.
My court ordered mental health treatment requirement order ends in February 2026. That was for 18 months though it made no difference to my mental health treatment. My treatment didn’t change except I possibly got more appointments than usual. My new Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) is nice but can be unreliable. Sometimes I have turned up for appointments with her and she hasn’t been there, often she is sent on short notice training and doesn’t tell me.
One thing I have realised is the amount of anxiety I carry. I spoke to the psychiatrist about it in November and was prescribed 50mg of Sertraline. An SSRI. It’s too early to say how its going but I have had some odd days of severe anxiety and dissociation which I think could be me just getting used to the dose.
My benefits will likely be reassessed next year. It was a welcome break for it not to happen this year so far. Though I imagine I won’t be so lucky next year. It’s always a stressful process getting the forms and medical evidence in. Then waiting for the result is a time of worry as I don’t think I can afford to live here if my income is cut. My landlord is increasing my rent to £875 per month, I only get £680 per month as part of the housing element of universal credit (formerly housing benefit) towards the rent so I have to find money from my PIP to top it up.
This year my faith in God has grown. I’m still going to Church on Sundays and occasionally help out on a Wednesday. I’ve got into the habit of using the Church of England Daily Prayer app each evening. I have also been seeing my private counselor on MS Teams every fortnight which has been helpful. I think this has all been helping me manage my Autism and Schizoaffective disorder.