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Surviving

[7 Part Twitter Thread]

Surviving can be defined as continuing to live or exist in spite of (an accident or ordeal). As someone with a diagnosis of Autism and Schitzoaffective Disorder surviving is what I seem to excel at.

It has taken me time but I have learnt to accept survival is the best I can mostly accept in life. I use to want to live a full life as anyone else. Though due to much trying I have realised that isn’t really possible in the 21st century with its present Social Contract.

I aspired to have a career I enjoyed, own my home, own a car, have a pet dog and loving partner. I think there was for a period some grief when it became more likely this wasn’t going to happen.

Some people might think that is still a realistic prospect but I believe they are not experienced or educated enough to understand. It’s not to say it isn’t possible for people with both these conditions but then it affects everyone differently.

Having a partner and supportive family can make a big difference. The partners I have had ended up ditching me. My Mum and Stepdad passed years ago but they had limits too. In the end access to money can make a big difference to your social standing and quality of life.

So in the end survival is my aim. I’m not particularly worried about dieing. I’m more concerned about not suffering too much. Maintaining that mindset lifts a big weight of my shoulders as then other peoples aspirations and opinions don’t really matter to me.

I feel much gratitude if I can sit in my room with the heating on and watch my Star Trek DVD collection. Making myself tea and at a bonus pepsi from my Sodastream gives me much joy. The Word of God in the Bible feeds my soul.I have learnt to appreciate a simpler life.


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