Everyone has different ways of coping and I’m no different. I was thinking today what were the core qualities or pillars that have helped me survive in recent years. I have identified Jesus, a home, an income, medication and Snoopy as my core pillars of wellness.
Home
After being homeless in 2022 I am much more grateful of having a home. I spent 4 and half months homeless in a psychiatric hospital and 6 weeks in a hotel before I got my current home. Living in a psychiatric hospital was restrictive such as no kitchen facilities, needing free staff to do things like charge my phone and being supervised when having a shave. Living in a NHS psychiatric hospital is probably as nice as a Norwegian prison but you aren’t really free. Likewise when I lived in a hotel, I didn’t have a kitchen and had to walk a mile with my clothes to a launderette. Once I got a home I appreciated having a kitchen, my own bathroom and once I got a washing machine being able to do my laundry more conveniently. My home is a peaceful place to retreat to where I feel safe and provides me with some security from the demanding and noisy world.
Income
Having an income like a home is an obvious pillar for wellness. In 2015-17, I didn’t get Personal Independence Payment (PIP) but claimed Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) and Housing benefit after being in a psychiatric hospital for 3 months in 2015. As I was under 35, I could only claim the shared room rate of Housing benefit yet at the time privately rented a one bedroom flat. I didn’t have enough money coming and it’s close to impossible to rent a room privately if you don’t work full time yet alone have disabilities like mine. Fortunately, I managed to get a part time job of 12 hours a week working nights in a supermarket stacking shelves. It didn’t affect my ESA as it was ‘permitted work’ and I managed to earn about £400 a month which just about helped me pay my bills. Unfortunately in the last four months of 2017, I was sectioned three times with psychosis and wasn’t able to work. I experienced delusions and hallucinations. I wasn’t able to work anymore, nightwork made my psychosis worst so I had to quit my job (they were trying to get rid of me anyway!). Fortunately, in the new year of 2018 I was able to claim Personal Independence Payment (PIP). The extra income from PIP was enough to live on for me. Along the journey it’s allowed extra things like being able to afford to travel from Church on the bus rather than walking all the time, a counsellor, fidget toys and to meet the rising cost of living. Between 2016 and 2021 the police broke into my flat a few times to do a welfare check or section me. I have often had to pay for repairs of their damage as well as the police’s emergency costs of securing the property after they broken entry. PIP has helped reduce my anxiety when it comes to managing my bills and money.
Medication
I presently have a 100mg depot injection of Paliperidone every 4 weeks (which is an anti-psychotic), 800mg of Lithium (a Mood stabiliser) nightly, 10mg of amitriptyline for back pain, high blood pressure medication and regular doses of 25mg Promethazine (an anti-histamine and anti-psychotic) every night and when needed during the day.
Over the years I have tried over a dozen different psychiatric medications some of have been more helpful than others. I think the current ones I’m on do better but there not 100% effective. They have side effects like drowsiness, lethargy and the Lithium can be dehydrating especially in summer. I have also experienced weight gain from my medications. I see them as a necessary evil to manage my condition.
Snoopy
For many people this pillar would probably be a pet or a family member. My Mum died in 2016 and my Stepdad in 2019. As I have neither, for me it’s Snoopy. Snoopy is a plush toy. He is nice to cuddle. He has different textures, like his ears are made of bean bags so as an Autistic person he meets a lot of my sensory needs. I cuddle Snoopy every night to bed and often fidget with him during the day. The character Snoopy from the Peanuts comics also makes me laugh. There are many meme’s online of Snoopy dancing or saying thoughtful things. Snoopy is like a friend who is always there for me and doesn’t judge me.
Jesus
Finally my main pillar is Jesus, God and The Bible. Jesus’ message of compassion, kindness and love are very important to me. Reading The Gospels and the Bible help me cope with my daily struggles. Going to Church every Sunday and sometimes more regularly like at Easter when their are additional events on helps reinforce Jesus’ message to me. The kindness of certain individuals at Church make me feel included and welcome as well as spread the gospel on a more personal level.
I have a painting of Jesus on my wall. Sometimes I talk to him about my challenges and worries. Listening to sermons at Church as well as on my phone help remind me that Jesus cares and isn’t far away. I also pray too and I’m sure he listens to me.
Conclusion
As you can probably tell, these 5 pillars are important to my wellbeing and perhaps explains how I live independently in my flat without any family. I find these are the core things I focus on to stay well. It doesn’t make me bullet proof but seems to have helped me survive thus far. Maybe you have your own challenges and need to think of key pillars that will help you survive and cope too.