Musings on my Existence

I find the demands of society stressful. Particularly in relating to people and those in authority. People are selfish and I find I can never please them. Whatever I do it’s not good enough. In many situations often find myself alone, not fitting in and sometimes even bullied.

I find my current setup the most optimal. Just not working and spending time alone. Stress is lower and I can potter about at home. Sometimes but mostly rare times I struggle with isolation. Though I just need to go out and then I’m reminded how much I can’t stand people.

I am not a socialable person at all. I prefer one on one conversations. Groups are usually a nightmare for me. Though I can usually cope if the group is an audience or congregation like in Church to a sermon. It feels like introverts are an endangered species.

I will always be a piece of shit 💩 to most people. Because of my diagnosis or that I don’t work. I’m fine with that provided I haven’t got be around them all day. If society doesn’t like me then either put up with it or kill me. Punishing me won’t change me.