Bizarre Behaviour

I mentioned yesterday how exhibiting bizarre behaviour has got me sectioned. Sometimes it was psychosis other times it was me applying the wrong social rules or forgetting social rules under extreme stress. Though many people would just call all of that psychosis.

My understanding of how society has worked has been largely rule based. I particularly find it difficult to follow rules that don’t adhere to logic. I built a framework of social rules in Neuroschemas to explain as best as I understand it.

More recently I have learnt to think more philosophically with rules still present in the detail. It is like trying to think in 3D Venn Diagrams (planets instead of circles) and each planet containing rules, guidances and footnotes.

Part of building NeuroSchemas was I realised how tiring this was for me and by developing a framework I can simplify the task at hand. In any case I rarely get nuance right but don’t think that will ever work without a heads up display.

I put a lot of effort accommodating other people. I try to be myself as much as possible. By not participating in much in society I am less exposed to things going wrong.Though I am more isolated which can also lead to things going wrong as I lose touch with everyday life.

One thing I will add is I struggle with his when other people violate social rules with malice. If my social rules are disintegrating, the appearance of police (people I don’t know) taking me away makes things more confusing. Further malice by staff in the hospital compounds it.

To Finish: I describe psychosis as when my logical ability fails. Often due to stress from not sleeping as well as side effects of the medication. Other times I am applying the incorrect social rules but my logic is not impaired – I just need prompting/kindness not hostility.